Mutant Chocolate

May 16, 2011 at 4:48 pm (Humor too funny to NOT share, Other Artsy Fun)

Mutant Chocolate – it’s coming for you!

Need I say more?

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I’m compelled to blog about this

May 9, 2011 at 6:43 pm (Humor too funny to NOT share, Random Thoughts)

On a local forum I belong to there’s this guy.  He’s real good at stating non-factual “facts”, and just plain blurting.  Well, about a week or so ago, he got “incorporated” , supposedly.  And now he has this disclaimer posted to the effect that no one can quote anything of his ever anywhere in the universe.  Especially on this specific forum.  Sorry buddy – you signed the TOS, which clearly states that anything you post there becomes part of their property and public domain- standard forum TOS stuff.  So, of course, lots of people started quoting him as a way of poking the crazy.

I decided to have a serious conversation with him about it, since, as a part time writer of all things history, copyright is something I need to know.  he decided I was confused, so I posted copyright law, The DMCA, and so forth.  Amazingly, the topic of quoting on the forum is dropped.

Now he’s claiming people are quoting him in their blogs, and that he’s spoken with his REAL ESTATE attorney who told him how illegal that is, and how he’s going to sue several people in our community. A real estate attorney, cause, yeah, you know how much they focus on copyright law.

People are laughing all up and down this valley.

Sometimes, you just wonder about your neighbors.

So, now he’s been discussed in a blog, but not quoted, with no identifying factors except to those very few local people who actually read my blog and who know my real name – all four of them.  They’re also laughing.

Just…yeah.   Don’t ya just love some people?

I’ll await my summons and I’ll invite you all to come see the show.  Bring some cash, cause we gave another local the right to the consessions. You’re gonna want popcorn for this.

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The truth is out there (via Sarah, Proud and Tall)

April 28, 2011 at 1:34 pm (Humor too funny to NOT share, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

After all the bullcrap of the past few days, this blog post by Sarah Proud and Tall tells it all. Enjoy the read – I did!

The truth is out there Goddammit. I post a righteous rant about the world thinking Americans are all insane and then half an hour later the entire United States goes stark raving birther-mad just to prove me correct. Anyway, it was the 5th of August 1961. Keith and I had been in Nairobi undermining the more moderate sections of the Kenyan independence movement because Jack Kennedy wanted to piss off the British. It didn’t take much work in those days – either to underm … Read More

via Sarah, Proud and Tall

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Know your tools

January 10, 2011 at 5:24 pm (Humor too funny to NOT share)

My uncle sent me this list via email – it’s worth sharing.

DRILL PRESS: 
A tall, upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

PLIERS: 

Used to over-tighten toilet bolts, thereby cracking the porcelain bowl. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. 
ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: 
Used to round off bolt heads and create knuckle wounds.
 
BELT SANDER

An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: 

One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle… It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: 

Generally used after adjustable wrenches to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: 

Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

OIL FILTER WRENCH: 

Used exclusively for staining concrete with oil and stripping the threads in your engine resulting in a tow charge and a mechanic�s bill many times the cost of an oil change.

TABLE SAW: 

A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Also known as the source of many manly nicknames such as; (eye) Patch, Lefty and Three-Finger Sam
BUTANE TORCH:
Used for igniting materials behind copper joints that still leak after the fire is extinguished.
 
 
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: 
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: 

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: 

A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: 

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil onyour shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: 

A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and blistering your palms.

PRY BAR: 

A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a fifty-cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: 

A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER

Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent  to the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: 

Used to open and slice through the contents of corrugated cartons; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles or aluminum cans, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Also useful for slicing work clothes, but only while being worn.

TUBING CUTTER: 

A tool used to make copper tubing too short.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: 

Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ‘Son of a ï¿½BITCH!’ at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
 
Hope you found this informative.
There is no need to send me a thank you note. 

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MORE Equal Opportunity Holiday Offending, now with 80% more Santa!

December 11, 2010 at 7:14 am (Humor too funny to NOT share)

Some of these photos are from Sketchysanta.com – go there for more creepy Holiday fun!

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